The Velveteen Rabbit... or FrankenBunny

First, I obviously really suck at this whole keeping-up-with-a-blog thing. Oops. Second, I apologize that all of the pictures on this post were taken with my phone. It's just easier than trying to find the big camera and I'm pretty sure that the battery is dead anyways. But moving on...

Let me tell you the real story of "The Velveteen Rabbit." Lou's best friend in the whole wide world is her stuffed Bunny. My parents got Bunny as an Easter present for Lou when I was still pregnant with her, and the two of them have been on many adventures together over the last five years.

Bunny when she still had some fluff. I think Lou was about 15mo here, maybe?

Awww! Look at how cute! Long story short, Bunny is Real. If you've ever read the story of "The Velveteen Rabbit," you'll know what I mean. And something terrible happened to Bunny on Monday:

Roxy happened.

Basically, Lou took Bunny outside to play and left her and our dog ate her face off.

Joe started calling her "Zombie Bunny."

When Lou saw what happened, she broke down. She just stood there hugging her poor, mauled baby, crying and apologizing. Okay, I fully admit, I bawled too. It was absolutely heart wrenching. I was able to find the nose in the grass but it was all chewed up. One eye was never recovered.

 Joe was so awesome. He got right on the phone and started trying to track down a new one. He first called Kohl's, which is where she came from five years ago, and explained what had happened to the customer service lady. Joe was describing Bunny to the woman and referred to her as an "Easter bunny." Lou heard and started bawling, "She's not an Easter bunny! She's a Princess Bunny!!"

They no longer carried this bunny, but she was able to give us the name of the manufacturer, whom Joe also called, but they no longer make it. So our hunt turned to eBay. We actually, miraculously found a new bunny on eBay and very quickly bought it. But Lou took one look at it and said, "That's not my Bunny. My Bunny does not look like that." We explained to her that once upon a time, she actually did. This bunny still had a smile and whiskers, and a fluffy coat and tail, and still had the baby toy bunny sewed into her arms. This bunny was not Real yet. Lou warmed up to the idea of the new bunny, but said that it still just wouldn't be the same. And I had to agree. So I became determined to fix Bunny as best as I could.

First, Joe and I spent date night tracking down materials to fix Bunny. This meant a trip down the incredibly scary dismembered doll aisle at Hobby Lobby to get a new nose and eyes. Seriously, that aisle terrifies me. Brings back bad "Chucky" memories. *shudder* It also didn't help that Joe kept following me down the aisle waving the dolls around, creepily saying, "Lindsay, come play with me. I want to be your friend!" (Note: Joe's aforementioned awesomeness with tracking down a new bunny, and his willingness to spend date night at Hobby Lobby are the ONLY reasons I put up with creepy doll play-date invitations.)

We couldn't find any type of material that would match the gnawed-off face, so we decided to get another stuffed animal and use the material from it. Sadly, the dog is a touch more yellow than Bunny was, but it was the closest we could find.
 

Say "Hello" to my ugly little friend.

I then measured the nose/snout part on Bunny and drew a circle on the back of the dog and cut it out:

I then destuffed Bunny's head because the fluff was full of dirt and grass. I guess it was inevitable that this would be the point when Lou would walk in and stare at me and ask, "What. Are. You. Doing. To. Bunny???"

After defluffing, I carefully used my seam ripper to remove the rest of the snout part. I had some concerns about this next step because the face was chewed off to just below the right eye and I wasn't sure how to even it out. I decided a "chin-ectomy" was in order. I cut out a piece of material out from right below the bottom of the snout and sewed it on to the top part below the eye.

The innards of this Bunny are just as creepy as the innards of a real bunny, though thankfully less bloody.

Next came the nose. Now, Bunny originally had a pale pink nose, and all Hobby Lobby had were black ones. The original was too chewed up to work, but of course, Lou demanded a pink one. So I got creative and painted one of the black noses with a silver paint marker, then colored that with a pink sharpie marker, and then put a clear top coat of nail polish on it for durability. From there, I attached it to the snout and then sewed the snout on. Of course it all had to be hand-sewn. Blah. But in the end, I think it all worked out. It's a little uneven, but she definitely looks a lot better than she did a few hours before!! Lou's good with it, so that makes me happy. She did notice that the color was a bit off and the nose isn't right, and at first it upset her, but she's made her peace with it. Actually, she said, "Mom, I would really like for Bunny to have a pale pink nose but if she can't have one, then it's ok." Needless to say, I found some pale pink noses online and they should be here in a few days. =) The New Bunny comes tomorrow and Lou's excited, but she keeps making sure that we're not throwing Bunny away. Believe me, kid. We will NEVER throw Bunny away.

FrankenBunny lives!!

Here We Go!...Again

Ok. First things first. It's been awhile since my last blog. It's one of those things that I mean to do but it kind of gets tossed on the stone-cold back burner. Taking 18 hours each semester while raising two kids and leading a Celebrate Recovery group two times a week becomes slightly time-consuming. The good news? I graduate in May!! Whoo-hoo!! Then only three more years of graduate school!...? Hmmm... Doesn't sound like this life is going to slow down anytime soon.

But I've realized that I really miss blogging. Sharing all of my wisdom and sage advice with the internet at large? Yes, please! (And by "at large" I obviously mean all 12 of you who semi-regularly read this and the occasional stranger who arrives at it by clicking the "Next Blog" link.) But I think it's time to make a re-commitment to blogging. Like I've said before, writing soothes this savage beast. So since I've got about a years worth of events, feelings, etc to catch you up on, let me begin.

No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

I just celebrated 10 years of marriage to a wonderful, God-fearing man. I am a senior in college, earning my degree in Leadership and Ministry. I would like to continue on to get my Master's in Counseling but we'll pray and see. I am a Women's Leader at Celebrate Recovery. And I love it. There's such a stigma attached to support groups like CR and it's so frustrating. People sometimes just don't know how to react when I say that. But I will tell you this: God has worked amazing wonders in my life and in my family over the last two years and He has used the program and people in CR to accomplish so much in my life. I have made amazing friends, and, especially as a leader, I have had the privilege to firsthand see God move, change, and heal broken people. I was a broken person. I'm not ashamed to say that. No, I wasn't an alcoholic or a drug addict. But I was depressed, suicidal at times, angry, and struggling with co-dependency (or as I like to joke, I was addicted to my husband.) But God has set me FREE! And I love watching Him move in others lives. I feel like this is a calling on my life. That's why I'm considering the Master's degree in counseling.

But even with all of these blessings that God has given me, and knowing that He hears me when I cry out to Him, and knowing that I am free, I sometimes still struggle with life. Probably because I'm human. Right now I'm struggling to trust Him with my finances. I'm struggling with anger and frustration. At this exact moment, I'm struggling with a two-year-old who's whining and crying for juice when we don't have any. I feel myself getting upset and wanting to yell. I've opened and shut this laptop about 15 times in the last 5 minutes trying to convince her that an empty bottle means that there isn't any left for her to drink. I'm struggling with trying not to burst into tears right along with her.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4 ESV)

Are these the types of trials and struggles I'm supposed to consider with all joy? Two-year-old's and financial difficulties? Maybe. Probably. But it's hard. It's hard to find the joy when your nerves are frayed and it feels like there's no end in sight. Being a Christian doesn't mean that all your problems are instantly solved. It just means that we haven't gotten to the other side of glory yet (I heard one of my professors say this and it stuck with me.) But as a Christian, I know that I'm not alone. He is always right here, even when I can't feel Him. I read this awesome article by John Piper the other day on what to do when you're feeling fragile. I actually printed it out and have it saved on my phone for when I need to read it again. But my favorite part is the last line:

Cry out to him. Then ransack the Bible for his appointed promise. We are fragile. But he is not.

Oh, John Piper, you wise man, you. That's what I've been missing. I've gotten so caught up in life that I've forgotten the source of Life. I've forgotten His beautiful promises to me, to us. My cup is empty. He will fill me to overflowing so that I may be emptied again, pouring Him all through my life and onto all others who come into contact with me. And when I'm emptied and dry and there's just not enough of me to go around, I need to cry out to Him and ransack the Bible for His appointed promise and ask Him to fill me once again. And He will. He always has.